You're All I've Got Tonight
by 13.Starlight-Mist
Summary: Alternate Universe: When Hermione joined the FBI, nowhere in the fine print did it say she would wind up working in a secret division called Hogwarts. Nor did it say that Draco, her partner, would be a devilishly-handsome man who made it his job to slosh coffee on people. Or that they would argue...constantly. If one thing was for certain, she was doomed. [Dramione]
1. The Coffee-Sloshing Partner

**You're All I've Got Tonight  
Disclaimer:** My name is Brigitta and not Joanne Rowling, so I can not claim any rights to the Harry Potter series.

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To: Current Readers  
From: Starlight-Mist  
Subject: Important Fluff

Right off the bat, I would like to say that all names used in this story are solely for literary purposes and I am never trying to accuse or suggest anything about anyone who has the same name. This is meant to be a humorous crime-fighters story about Draco and Hermione as they overcome their insecurities. The title was taken from the 1978 song, "You're All I've Got Tonight" by The Cars. However, the most important thing to know is that I am not an FBI agent, psychologist, or a doctor. Do not take everything you read seriously.

Lastly, I have changed some information about the characters (e.g. Draco is four years older than Hermione) in order to help the story flow better (reason: he is a doctor and had to have completed medical school in order for the timeline to work). I apologize if this annoys anyone. I will try my best to keep things close the the original books.

※ _Modus Operandi_ \- the way that a criminal commits their crimes until doing so is no longer an option

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 **Chapter One  
** The Coffee-Sloshing Partner  
(Published on Jan 1, 2016)

 _Special Agent Hermione Jean Granger._

"Four years bloody years and a life full of waiting, just to become one of them..." the aforementioned agent whispered as she lovingly caressed her badge, then slipped it into the pocket of her black slacks. Having recently graduated from the FBI Academy, it was her first day on the job, and she was ready to kick some major butt. Head held high, Hermione stepped out of her car and marched towards the front doors of the J. Edgar Hoover Building, ready to take on any challenge.

However, what greeted her beyond the front doors was anything and everything but what she expected.

Maybe it was the woman behind the front desk who was savagely ranting at someone on the phone as she made stabbing motions with her pencil. Or maybe it was the dreamy-looking blonde who was wheeling a skeleton through the lobby, seemingly mindless to the fact that its right arm was falling off the cart. But, it was most likely the distinct feeling that someone had just sloshed her with a scalding-hot cup of coffee...a someone who had all-but disappeared in the few seconds that it took for her to recover from the attack.

In other words, her assailant was a slosh-and-run drinker.

"Welcome to the prestigious Federal Bureau of Investigation, victim four-hundred-something. Pansy Parkinson at your service. Sorry about your blouse, though I suppose that it should be Draco apologizing," a young brunette apologized as she walked up to her, holding out a fluffy pink towel. Pansy was a relatively short woman with a round face that reminded her of a pug, though not in a bad way. Her hair was styled in a sharp bob and she had a streak of magenta.

"Victim four-hundred-something?" Hermione asked as she accepted the offered towel.

"I lost count sometime after the two hundredth victim," Pansy shrugged as she shot Hermione a lopsided grin.

"So, I guess the next question would be who exactly is this Draco?" the new agent asked as she toweled herself off, then mopped up the drips at her feet.

"Draco? He is my coworker, who has apparently made it his responsibility to douse people with coffee," Pansy explained as she rifled through her purse and procured a plastic bag containing a new blouse, which made Hermione wonder how often Pansy was stuck cleaning up Draco's messes...literally and figuratively.

"Draco, late-twenties. _Modus operandi_ is pouring coffee on people when irritated, then fleeing the scene of crime. Probably an arrogant guy who enjoys challenging and defying authority, though it is quite possible that he has an inferiority complex," Hermione profiled peevishly as she accepted the blouse.

Pansy whistled, rocking back on her heels, "Other than the inferiority complex thing and his age, which is actually thirty, that was an extremely accurate profile. I'm impressed! The bathroom is this way. So, you looking forward to your first day on the job? I assume that is why you're looking so lost?"

"Yeah, first day," Hermione replied as she followed Pansy, frowning as her shoes squeaked loudly. "I think I would look forward to it more if I knew exactly where I was supposed to go. I was just given a slip of paper with a place and a name, but I have absolutely no idea about anything else."

"Is that so?" Pansy asked as they entered the bathroom.

Hermione nodded, handing the friendly brunette a slightly soggy piece of paper before slipping into a stall to change out of her coffee-stained blouse. Pansy opened the soggy note and squinted down at the smudged ink, gasping loudly when she finally deciphered what the note said - _Hogwarts, Executive AD Severus Snape._

"What is it? Really bad department or something?" Hermione asked as she emerged from the stall, adjusting the new blouse as she hung her old one off her arm.

"Hermione, you do have absolutely no idea how lucky you are that I was the one who found you," Pansy hissed, grabbing her arm and dragging the confused woman out of the bathroom. "To put it simply? You are part of Hogwarts, an elite secret division of the FBI that specializes in dealing with cases that have been open and unsolved for decades. Hogwarts operates solely under the order of Albus Dumbledore, the right hand man of the Director."

"You mean we are practically charges of the Director Cook?" the new brunette asked incredulously, her heart nearly stopping at the mere thought.

"Not quite. Dumbledore and Cook work on the same level, but Dumbledore governs three Executive Auror Directors, one of whom is our boss. Each of the three Auror Directors leads a unit of five Auror Agents. Our badges identify us as Special Agents because our positions are not publicly-recognized titles. For example, we were supposed to get a new agent two months ago, but she showed her slip to someone who didn't know about Hogwarts and was terminated."

"Terminated? As in killed?"

"No, terminated as in the offer for her becoming an Auror Agent was revoked. She caused a large security scare for Hogwarts and got normal agents involved, which is taboo. Only a select few know about Hogwarts. She is now currently working as a normal agent and has been sworn to secrecy," Pansy explained as they stopped at the front desk. "Hey, Cho!"

"What can I do for you? Or should I ask what it was that Draco did?" the pencil-stabbing woman from earlier asked as she swept her hair out of her eyes and readjusted the large blue blanket draped across her lap. It was only upon further examination that Hermione realized that the pretty Asian woman was wheelchair-bound.

"Haha, I'll straighten out Draco later. The higher powers finally noticed the fire burning under their butts and sent us a new agent. An unspoken understanding passed between the two women and Cho wheeled away from them. When she returned, Cho presented Hermione with a gold key with silver wings. She sent Hermione a quick smile before Pansy whisked her away yet again, giving her no chance to examine the strange key that she had just received.

"Am I allowed to ask why she is in a wheelchair?" Hermione asked softly, clutching the key tightly in her hand.

"Mission gone, uh, horribly wrong. She was part of a unit under the supervision of Pomona Sprout," Pansy explained quietly as she ushered Hermione into an elevator and pressed the button for the ninth floor. "She and her four teammates - Marietta Edgecombe, Cedric Diggory, Anthony Goldstein, and Michael Corner - were on an undercover mission. We don't really know what happened, but by the time the rescue team arrived, it was too late. She was the only one alive. We found her with her legs under a steel beam, holding Cedric's body and screaming. Cedric was her fiancee, and they were to be married a week later."

Pansy clenched her fist.

"I was on the rescue team. We never found out who killed her team and none of us remember much about the night. I think we were drugged, or something. Between everyone on the rescue team, there is only one thing that we all remember and it was that there was something wrong about the place they had been killed and we had to get the bodies out of there. Some of us think that we loaded the bodies into a van and drove to the nearest hospital, and others think that we were squatting at the place and waiting for more backup. Either way, none of us have any idea if the van made it to the hospital or whether backup ever came. We all woke up in our respective homes and the four bodies were in the morgue."

"That is all you remember?" Hermione asked, frowning. There was a lot that didn't add up. If they had been drugged, wouldn't there have been something in their bloodstream? And how did the bodies get there? And how did an entire rescue team manage to get drugged? And what exactly did 'something being wrong about the place' mean?

Pansy bit on her bottom lip, "No. I remember seeing a large snake. A large green snake. Nobody else remembers it though, so it could just be a hallucination, but it seemed very real."

The rest of the ride up to the ninth floor was quiet save for the opening and closing of the elevator as it slowly made its way up, dropping off people and picking up more people. Mere minutes later, the two women were standing in front of a metal utility door labeled NINE AND THREE-QUARTERS.

"This is the door to Hogwarts," Pansy exclaimed, pulling a key out of her pocket. "Our keys are engraved a long string of numbers that is scanned by the inner workings of the keyhole. I don't know who started it, but we've adopted our own names for them. Keys are Snitches and the keyhole is a Seeker."

Pansy slid the entire golden stem of her Snitch into the Seeker before even starting to turn it. After a few seconds, a light next to the box glowed green and she removed her Snitch. Tucking it back in her pocket, Pansy opened the door and escorted Hermione through.

Hogwarts carpeted in a simple beige that matched the walls. The baseboard trim looked to be an oak and both the doors and door frames looked to be the same. The center of the room housed a large, but low table, surrounded on three sides with chairs. To her left, there were three large windows which let in just the perfect amount of light to make the room seem light and airy. To her right, a gigantic screen was mounted to the wall, below which were two sinks, a mini-fridge, a microwave, and oven. Looking straight forwards, she saw three doors labeled with the names of the Auror Directors, and to each side of the main door were yellow sofas that clashed horribly with the rest of the interior. However, the thing that most-clashed with the interior was the horribly out-of-place graffiti painting of a fat lady, which was mounted on the middle door. She winced.

Pansy led her around the table and to the door marked Severus Snape, "The offices to your left are for active agents and the three on your right lead to a conjoined lab. Door at the very back is for the Executive Auror Director. We better get you to Snape's office...he is a big stickler for tardiness and holds grudges against everyone, save the other active field agent."

The two walked down the hallway and to the far office.

"Good luck and I hope to see you soon," Pansy whispered, shooting her an evil grin before opening the door to her new boss' office and shoving her through.

 **XxxX**

 _For some weird reason, I think that my pendant is having an off-day,_ Hermione sighed, fingering her four-leaf clover necklace as she slouched in her seat.

Bored out of her mind, she started tapping on her armrest, only to stop when her boss (a hook-nosed man who had only looked away from his computer long enough to crossly inform her that she was late) cleared his throat in a creepily menacing way. Just when it seemed like her partner would never show up and save her from the slow passage of time, the door to Snape's office swung open, admitting a tall and devilishly-handsome man with a jacket casually thrown over his shoulder.

His facial features were flawless, from his stunning mercurial eyes to his well-defined jaw and aristocratic nose. Platinum blonde hair topped his head in a simple cut. He was dressed in a white button-up shirt with the top two buttons tastefully undone, a pair of grey slacks, and black shoes that were polished to the point that you could probably see your reflection in them. Frankly, he was drop-dead gorgeous, and undeniable eye-candy. Her partner from the NYPD would've approved.

"Miss Granger, please meet Special Agent Draco Malfoy," her greasy-haired boss announced, closing his computer as the blonde sauntered over to his seat.

"Pleasure to meet you," he greeted, extending his hand with a suave smile.

Hermione's heart stopped cold and she closed her eyes, a headache starting to form as she pinched the bridge of her nose, refusing to shake his hand. "You mean to tell me that this guy, the Jerk Who Intentionally Sloshed Coffee Down My Blouse and Never Apologized, is my partner? You are effing kidding me."

"Who, me? You must be mistaken, my dearest Miss Granger. I would never do such a thing to a lady like you, but should you wish to grab a coffee with me, we can meet at _The Whomping Willow_ after work," he said, trailing off in a suggestive manner.

Hermione's eyes flew open, and she snapped, "I don't typically go on dates with sweet-talking, lying, conniving cockroaches."

Startled by the intensity, Draco dropped his hand to his side. His eyes fell upon the blouse draped on the arm of Hermione's chair. "So, that must be the legendary blouse, huh? Must have been a very tasteful mastermind who committed the crime...very artistic splatter. Now, what makes you think it was me that ruined it? I mean, we just met, after all."

"I am sure that the footage provided by the twelve security cameras in the lobby will be extremely helpful in proving that you are the tasteful mastermind," Hermione answered confidently as she crossed her own arms, watching as Draco's smug face dropped off the face of the earth and was replaced by one of shock and guilt.

An expression that didn't last long.

"You paranoid freak! How the hell do you know how many security cameras there are in the lobby?" he demanded, regaining his composure as he threw the blouse back at her. "I've worked here for two years and I still don't have any idea. Unless you were bluffing, of course.

It was then her turn for a smug little smirk.

"Wow, really. Bluffing? I fell for bluffing? What an amateur trick," he scoffed, kicking himself.

As Draco took a seat on the edge of his desk, Snape pinched the bridge of his nose and drawled, "Now that your childish dispute has been settled, we can finally get started. As I was saying earlier, you two are partners and I expect you to act civilly - or at least in my presence. If you want to kill each other in your free time, that is fine too. Just remember to fill out the paperwork afterwards. Next order of business..."

Hermione was tempted to gape at the man.

"Draco, Miss Granger will be your partner until any further notice. As for you, Miss Granger, I have met many psychologists and greenies, most of whom were and are an absolute disgrace. As such, I feel it necessary to tell you that I am not a believer in psychology, nor that I expect you to actually notice the subtle signs and exact art of psychology. Lastly, please keep in mind that there will be no foolish gun-waving or false psycho-babble on this unit. Understood?"

Though irritated by his use of 'Miss Granger' instead of 'Agent Granger', Hermione nodded; she would earn his respect in due time.

"Agent Malfoy, please make sure Miss Granger is settled in and that that introductions proceed accordingly. I wish to speak to you afterwards."

With a careless wave of his hand, the two agents were dismissed.

 **XxxX**

It was pink, and not any kind of pink, but an exotic bubblegum-pink type of pink.

"This job is _not_ going to work. My partner dumped coffee on me, my boss has no respect for me, and my office looks like a flamingo advertisement center. This was supposed to be the best day of my life..." Hermione muttered under her breath as she stared at the disastrously-bright color of her walls.

Draco chuckled, having overheard his fiery partner's little rant, "Welcome to your new home, Granger! Please meet Danny the Desk, Claire the Chair, Chester the Couch, Courtney the Coffee-Table, and the unnamed twin bookshelves. I am sure you will all get along well."

Hermione grunted, "I declare all those names void. And jeez, these walls seriously need to get repainted before my eyeballs are fried."

The new agent walked over to her bookshelf to examine the contents, and found herself just as unimpressed as she had been with the rest of the room. Plucking a very familiar book off the shelf, she held it up questioningly, "Who reads _Goodnight Moon_ while working?"

The blonde snorted, "I was tempted to put _Georgie Porgie_ there instead. I know the entire thing by heart. I quote, 'Georgie Porgie, pudding and pie, kissed the girls and made them cry-'"

Before the insensitive side of Hermione could jump up and punch Draco, mainly because he was annoying-cruel-unsympathetic, the door to her office opened and Draco stopped reciting.

"I would ask what Draco did this time, but I really don't want to know the answer do I?" Pansy sighed as she entered the room, followed by two young men in white lab coats. The first was a brown-haired Caucasian male with a square-cut jaw and a casual slouch. The other was a narrow-faced Italian of lightly sun-kissed skin and a pierced right ear. Both of them made themselves at home on the couch as Pansy perched herself on the edge of Hermione's desk. Draco continued to spin in her rolling chair.

It was silent for a few moments as Pansy examined her nails, "How was Snape? He can come off a little cold, but we all know that he is a cuddly teddy bear on the inside. Right, guys?"

Nobody nodded except for Draco.

"Anyways, I guess that we are a unit now. A team, really. It nice to have you on board, Hermione. The boys and I did a little digging while waiting for your meeting with Snape to finish. Almost all of your personal records were locked, some of them under some military red tape, but we were able to find out a little about you. Harvard graduate, was part of the NYPD crime scene unit, parents are Monica and William Granger, and a little more unimportant stuff. Would you like to tell us a little about yourself that can't be found in files?"

Had Pansy not seemed like such a nice person, Hermione would've been a little miffed that she had snooped on her file, but she figured that it wasn't that bad.

"The red tape you ran into is probably because of my father. Army veteran. Uh, I'm twenty-four and my favorite color is purple. Yeah."

"Ah, that explains it. Where did you grow up?"

"A little bit of everywhere, I guess. I moved around a lot. And there were a few other complications but you know how it is. So, pardon me sounding ignorant, but what do you guys," here Hermione gestured to the rest of the room's occupants, "do on the team? I figure lab for you two?"

"You are correct. I'm Theo and nice to have you on the team. You're a little young, but if you are as smart as you are beautiful," Hermione was tempted to laugh at the obviously flirtatious tone the handsome man had taken on, "I'm sure that won't be a problem. I specialize in slime and grime and entomology. I used to be a marine biologist and scuba diver, but hey. Dead bodies sounds like a party, doesn't it?"

Pansy shook her head, "Is there anyone you don't flirt with until after the first meeting?"

Theo shot her a saucy smile.

"So, how old are you all if I am considered young?" Hermione queried, joining Theo and the other man on the couch.

"Draco and Theo are twenty-eight, Blaise is twenty-nine, and I'm twenty-five," Pansy answered cheerfully.

"You are _not_ ," Theo laughed, throwing an arm around her neck and giving her a noogie. "Pretend as you may, but we all know you're a ripe old plum."

"Twenty-six is not old," Pansy argued, struggling to get out from under his arm, settling for elbowing him in the ribs. With a loud grunt, Theo released her and the bobbed woman sat up and straightened out her hair. "I also work in the lab, specialty is facial reconstructions and conflict mediation between the rest of these yogurt-heads. Used to be a linguist as I am fluent in both Italian and Spanish, and then a museum guide, but I got fired for dealing with a nuisance."

"Read, she kneed a guy where the sun doesn't shine," snickered the darker-skinned of the two male lab agents. "We've got the security tapes of it."

Pansy pouted at him.

"I'm Blaise," the still-snickering man introduced, holding out his hand to shake. "You're not the only one with a little red tape on your file. I majored in cyber security and might've used my skills to be a hacker-for-hire, but hey, I am very much-so reformed. Read, I've been pardoned of my crimes. I worked as a cyber security analyst for a while after I was cleared, but now I work in programming, tracking people down, research and analyzing, and puking when Draco does his little dissection-thingy."

"Autopsy...not a dissection. Besides, Blaise, I am not fully certified to perform autopsies," Draco corrected, stopping his incessant spinning. "The quick rundown of my life. Graduated from Stanford University and the UCSF School of Medicine, received my doctorate, worked at Stanford, arrived here two years ago and became a field agent. I am not yet certified to autopsy, but am working on that during the weekends. That being said, get used to seeing bloody goop and bone bits."

"I'm sure she has never seen a dead body before," Pansy snarked with an exaggerated roll of her eyes. "I mean, crime scene unit _totally_ doesn't spell out dead bodies..."

Draco frowned, then turned to Hermione.

"The first few months or even year is going to be pretty lax, but I can promise you...when we really get started, whatever you saw working with the crime scene unit was just the icing on the cake. It only gets worse from then on. Welcome to the fucking team."

With that, Draco tossed his jacket over his shoulder and strode out of the room, the door closing soundly behind him and leaving nothing but the smell of his cologne.

Pansy rolled her eyes.

"He has a _bit_ of a flair for the dramatic."

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 **Inspiration Song:** "River Flows in You" by Yiruma  
 **A Special Thank You To:** ApriltelloIsMyOTP, who encouraged me and gave me advice, though he has never read the Harry Potter series!

A bit of an information dump, but I am setting up the story and the intrigue, as well as the overarching plot line hiding under minor cases. I promise future chapters will be easier to follow. The FBI Director is indeed made up, as FanFiction doesn't typically approve of us using real people. You will notice that Blaise typically speaks with the explanatory word "read" and that aspect of his speech pattern is based on an elderly lady I met on a family vacation. Margot if you are reading this, which I highly doubt, you are awesome.

To anyone who wants to see a schematic of how the offices are laid out, please check out my DeviantArt. Also, I did reference some of Snape's lines from the movie during his little speech to Hermione. Also, yes, I am writing psychobabble in here. As I stated before, I am not a psychologist, so anyone who is one is invited to give me critique. Greatly appreciated!

Please pardon any mistakes, as I normally edit my own work, but feel free to give me a gentle correction if you see a glaring error.


	2. The Creep by the Dumpster

**You're All I've Got Tonight  
Disclaimer:** My name is Brigitta and not Joanne Rowling, so I can not claim any rights to the Harry Potter series.

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To: Current Readers  
From: Starlight-Mist  
Subject: Just a Quick Note

Alternate-Universe crime stories are incredibly hard to find! When you really think about it, AU stories are incredibly common, but most of them revolve around coffee shops, high schools, colleges, secret lives, business, and marketing. Has anyone else noticed this, or am I the only one? Lastly, if anybody feels this story is too graphic to be T-rated story, please tell me; I will immediately change the rating to M.

※ NYPD CSU - New York Police Department Crime Scene Unit  
※ ME - Medical Examiner

Favorites (2), Follows (9), Reviews (3)  
 _Please see the ending note for reviewer replies._

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 **Chapter Two  
** The Creep by the Dumpster  
(Published on 2/6/2016)

 _"How could you do this to me, Laura? I gave you everything I had!" the killer cried, grabbing a half-eaten hamburger from the dumpster and stuffing it into her mouth as his chest heaved with unshed tears. As Laura choked on the greasy lump of meat and bread, he removed his knife from his boot and flicked it open, the blade gleaming sinisterly as he raised it over his head._

 _"Why, Laura? I tried so hard? WHY?" he sobbed as he sunk the blade into her side, his heart and mind clouded with anger, pain, and hate as her last words echoed in his head._

 _Laura gasped for_ _as he pulled the knife out of her body and raised it again, but the damage was already done; blood poured out of her wound and she could feel death coming already. The knife sunk into her body again, and m_ _inutes later, he jumped out of the dumpster and shut its lid on her mutilated body, wiping the blood off of his knife before slipping it back into his boot._

 _'I really am a creep,' he thought to himself as tears streamed down his face. 'A freaky-deaky creep.'_

\- - END OF PREVIEW - -

 _Paperwork and desk duty seem to be the only constants in law enforcement_ , Hermione noted as she sorted through yet another stack of papers. Although her office was still a bright pink, her partner was still a hot coffee-dumping lunatic, and her life had been turned upside down and inside out, Hermione was settling into her peaceful new life.

However, the peace never lasted too long.

As the door to her office flew open and Draco strode into her office, she sighed, "Were you late to another meeting, or did someone catch you sloshing coffee again?"

However, his answer was neither of the two answers that Hermione had helpfully supplied him with.

"Get up, Grumpy Granger. Snape just assigned us our first job, a multi-murder case from Sacramento, California. You have fifteen minutes to pack your bags, make arrangements with your landlady, and meet me back here. Chop-chop! Our flight leaves at 12:00 and our ETA is about 6:30," Draco stated, smirking at his partner as she tried to find her purse.

At his last statement, Hermione stopped dead in her tracks and slowly turned to stare at him, a look of total horror stretched across her face.

"Come on, Granger, get those little legs moving, come on!" Draco barked, impatiently clapping his hands together.

"Malfoy, are we taking an airplane?"

"What are we, Granger? Wizards? Witches? Of course we are taking an airplane!"

A few hours later, Hermione was ready to scream bloody murder, if not to commit one herself.

"Malfoy, please be aware that I am more than happy to strangle you with your own spinal cord," she growled from behind clenched teeth as Draco reminded her that they were currently flying in a gigantic metal bird - one that was hovering approximately eight or nine kilometers above the ground.

"Scared, Granger?" Draco smirked, knowing perfectly well that his partner was uncomfortable with their form of transportation.

"Yes! I absolutely _despise_ heights, so would you please stop?" Hermione pleaded, tightening her grip on the armrest. Relenting on his cruel torture, Draco reached his hand into his computer bag and pulled out a case file, opening it up and spreading its contents out on his lap.

"One month ago, the body of twenty year old Laura Pelance was found stuffed in a dumpster. Based on the amount of blood they found in the dumpster, she was killed there. The police were unable to find any leads on her murderer. Two weeks later, Emily Whitemare and Victoria Barnett were also found in dumpsters. Just four days ago, the body of Mora Clark-Gables was found in a dumpster two blocks away from where Laura Pelance was dumped. The only relation between the four victims, other than the ten centimeter serrated blade which was used to deal them varying numbers of stab wounds, were their facial features and college," Draco announced, reading over the initial police reports.

"They were all so young and pretty," Hermione commented, looking over the photos.

"Deal with the facts and forget the opinions, Granger. The only thing that opinions do is cloud your objectivity," Draco retorted, sending her a disapproving look. "In fact, I have no idea why Snape put you on our team: psychology has no place among scientists."

"For some weird reason, I feel as if I am part of a real-life spin-off of Bones. I am Sweets, you are Brennan, Pansy is Angela, Theo is Hodgins, and Blaise is a mix between Angela and Hodgins. However, putting that aside, please try to leave some room for the beautiful art of psychology," Hermione stated, peeling her hands off of her armrests and began flipping through the pictures.

"Psychology may not be beautiful, but psychologists certainly are," Draco answered.

"Eww, Malfoy. Did you just hit on me?" Hermione asked, wrinkling her nose as she peered down at the stab wounds.

"No, I was not. I just find it common for psychologists to be hot," the blonde responded.

"Whatever you say; just keep your thoughts to yourself next time. You said that the first victim, Laura, was killed in the dumpster? Were the others killed in the dumpsters too?"

"My inclination is that they were actually killed in a dumpster, though probably not the ones that they were found in," Draco answered, though he gave no explanation to back up his ideology.

"The killer is probably an insecure person, and the fact they chose a dumpster as the kill-spot suggests that they do not think very highly of their victims, more-likely considering them to be trash," Hermione stated, her shoulders unknotting as she continued flip through the pictures. "Using the knife may be a way for the killer to create a distance between their victim, making it easier to not feel remorse. If they were moved, just like you said, that suggests that the killer is worried about being discovered, further strengthening the concept of insecurity. Also, not how the killer starts with nine stabs, then diminishes to six, then four, then only two. The killer is learning how to kill. Huh. Never thought I'd say that."

"You got all this from a few measly photos from the kill sites?" Draco asked, unsure whether to be skeptic or impressed.

"I'm not done yet. I still need to figure out what triggered our unsub to kill these four women. They weren't killed a set number of days apart, which means there was probably a trigger. Also, seeing as there were four murders in this past month, we are looking at a serial killer. Now, serial killers tend to have some sort of a relation to their first victim, so we should see if we can find anything to link Laura Pelance to our suspects. Also, going back to how the killer is insecure, he is not socially adept, which means that he is likely to be in the disorganized group of serial killers," Hermione concluded as she opened Laura Pelance's case file to the front and began reading through the ME's report.

Hermione suddenly looked up and asked, "Did you guys have another agent before I came?"

"Curiosity killed the cat, Granger," Draco snapped, tensing his shoulders in a way that reminded Hermione of how a turtle pulled its head into its shell when it was threatened.

 _What happened to the fifth agent, or was there even a fifth agent in the first place?_ Hermione wondered as she opened her mouth to poke and prod a little more. However, the perfectly-timed arrival of a flight attendant had her immediately strangling her armrest.

"Why is it that you are only scared of heights when you are aware of where you are?" Draco asked curiously.

"Malfoy, can we talk about anything other than heights?" Hermione winced as her mind started to generate a list of all the ways to die in an airplane.

"Any preference of topics?"

"Just start talking, Malfoy," Hermione ordered irately, her shoulders locking into place.

"Well then, how many men have you slept with?" Draco asked, smirking at his terrified flight-companion.

"Malfoy! Please remember that there are other passengers here, some of whom are too young to be hearing such things!" Hermione reprimanded, causing the old lady sitting across the aisle from her to glare at her before turning back to her crosswords.

"Fine. In that case, I guess that the next best topic would be me," Draco sighed dramatically.

"Whatever! Just start talking if you want your clothes to remain puke-free for the rest of this ride!" Hermione threatened.

"Now _that_ is a convincing argument," Draco declared as he scooted away from his new coworker.

Nearly five hours after Hermione threatened Draco, the two agents finally deplaned, the younger one barely resisting the urge to kiss the ground when her feet made contact. The last five hours of their plane ride had been a taxing experience, and she had learned little-to-nothing about Draco, other than the fact that he favored green-and-silver ties over red-and-gold ties.

"What a refreshing flight. If everything goes as planned, we can be back on the same flight in a little less than three days," Draco yawned, stretching his arms high above his head.

"I look forward to it," Hermione muttered sarcastically as she picked up her duffel bag and marched towards the car that they had been provided with.

"Say, Granger, how are you feeling right now?" Draco asked as he jogged along next to her, a scheming look in his eyes.

"Other than the fact that I puked...twice? Just peachy, I suppose," Hermione sighed, rolling her eyes.

"I suppose that means that you can't drive," the blonde grinned, slinging an arm around her shoulders.

"What part about being fine means that I can't drive?"

"You said that you are feeling peachy, and we obviously can't have a vegetable driving! Hahaha! Get it? I'm so funny..."

"Peaches are fruits, not vegetables, and I am driving," Hermione argued, looking down to adjust the strap on her duffel, giving Draco the perfect opportunity to snatch the keys out of her hand.

"What? You can't do that!" Hermione exclaimed as Draco ran ahead of her and unlocked the car.

"Guess this is what you get for _vegging_ out," he smirked, winking at before sliding into the driver's seat. "Now, hurry up and get in before I drive off without you!"

After Hermione had buckled in, the blonde stepped on the gas.

"You have a serious lead foot," Hermione muttered as she turned on the radio.

 _It's been a really, really messed-up week,_  
 _Seven days of torture, seven days of bitter,_  
 _And my girlfriend went and cheated on me,_  
 _She's a California dime, but it's time for me to quit her_

"Ugh...I hate it when Californian radio stations make California jokes. However, since I like being the one who makes the jokes, 'This could be Heaven or this could be Hell'," Draco grinned as he donned a pair of sunglasses.

"Oh brother, this is going to be a long trip."

"Yee-Haw and Aloha! I send it right back attcha!"

"Eureka, Malfoy. This is California, not Texas or Hawaii."

"Whatever! Same difference!"

Soon after they had departed from the airport, the two agents arrived at their hotel, still arguing about state-greetings. Parents pulled their children away, and grandparents looked down their noses at them until the hotel staff politely reminded them that there were other people in the vicinity.

"I'm so sorry," Hermione whispered, ashamed that she had been caught acting like a five-year-old in the middle of a hotel; however, her partner was completely unaffected as they checked in, then walked down the red-carpeted halls, cards in their hands and their luggage on their shoulders.

"Probably a late heads up, Granger, but I called ahead of time and arranged for us to visit the morgue at 7:45 to visit our four pretty dead women."

"I guess I'll see you then."

Sometime later, Draco was knocking at her door, "Open up, Granger!"

"It's open!" Hermione returned as she removed the extra pillows from her bed, contemplating where to put the fluffy annoyances.

"I was just trying to be polite by knock-...wait...why did _you_ get the king-sized bed? And the balcony? And the fancy rolling-chair?" Draco demanded as he entered the room.

"Hey, if you really want it, you can have it...the disgusting king-sized bed, the balcony, the fancy rolling-chair. You can have the whole shebang," Hermione replied, replacing the pillows, closing the door leading to the balcony, and grabbing her still-packed duffel.

In the few minutes that followed, Draco and Hermione quickly switched rooms.

 _Why would any sane person turn down a room with a king-sized bed, a balcony, and fancy furniture?_ Draco wondered as sat down in the rolling-chair, having just finished smoothing down his covers. However, his musings were quickly cut short by a loud knocking on his door, undoubtedly the shorty that had just joined their unit.

"Malfoy! It's 7:30 right now. Didn't you say that we had a morgue-party at 7:45?"

"Granger! Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Draco demanded as he rocketed out of his chair, grabbed his computer bag, slid his room-key into his pocket, turned out the lights, and rushed out of the room. After one incredibly heart-pumping ride which involved a lot of shrieking about the speed limit, Draco and Hermione had arrived at the Stanford Health Care-Stanford Hospital.

"Is that you? Draco Malfoy?" the receptionist asked as Draco entered the building.

"Special Agent Draco Malfoy, that is," the blonde announced as he faked a bow. "How have you been doing, Scotty? How are the kids?"

"I'm doing just fine, and the kids are good; they grow up too fast though! Betty is in college and Matty is in high school," the receptionist replied, clicking his ball-point pen twice before handing it to the blonde. "Now, is there anything I can help you with? I assume that you aren't back to work. We really miss you."

"No, no, sorry. I'm going to need access to the morgue for the dumpster cases," Draco answered as he signed in, then passed the implement to his partner.

"Go right ahead, Drake. We have an officer down there, but I trust you to be a good boy and not to use the facilitrees; the plants have never been the same ever since!" Scotty cackled.

"Aww, c'mon man! I was drunk!"

Scotty's laugh followed them down the hallways.

"I forgot that you used to work here, Malfoy," Hermione said; her counterpart just shrugged and continued leading the way. When they arrived outside the morgue, they introduced themselves to the young officer sitting next to the door.

"Pleasure to meet you, Agent Malfoy, Agent Granger," he answered, extending a stiff hand. "My name is Samuel Pelance. I suppose that you are here to work on the dumpster cases?"

"Your assumption is correct. Shall I get started?" Draco asked, tilting his head towards the doors.

"Go on ahead," Samuel nodded tersely, stepping back to let them in.

"Quite an uptight guy, if you ask me," Draco commented after the morgue doors closed behind them.

"Well, you really can't blame him. His younger sister is Laura Pelance, the first victim, which you would have known if you were researching the victims during the fifteen minutes we had before we left," Hermione said in a clipped tone as she handed him a lab coat and a pair of gloves.

"I see," Draco muttered guiltily as he snapped his gloves, located the four victims, placed them on the tables, and uncovered their bodies.

"I shall be leaving now," Hermione announced, wrinkling her nose at the pungent smell of death.

"Scared? Horrified? Repulsed? Disgusted?" Draco asked, picking up a magnifying glass.

"None of the above; I just want to go talk to Samuel, see if he can give us any help with the case. After all, his sister is the first victim, so she probably had a close connection to the killer. Maybe I can figure out what triggered the killer," she answered before exiting the room.

"Agent Granger. Is everything okay in there?" Samuel asked the second that Hermione exited the room.

"Everything is fine," Hermione nodded, watching as Samuel relaxed. "I just wanted to talk to you, ask a few questions about Laura. What was she like? What were her hobbies? What were her interests? Was she dating anyone? The standard stuff."

"Well, everybody liked Laura," Samuel began, swallowing to get a lump past his throat. "She was very sweet and always put others before herself. She liked to sew and bake, but her favorite thing to do was to talk. Laura was a very outgoing person and never hesitated to give an honest opinion; she talked to anybody and everybody. She was kind and compassionate."

"Was she dating anyone?" Hermione asked, jotting down a few more notes.

"Dating? Absolutely not," Samuel answered, firmly shaking his head. "Laura was a girl of her word, and when she started high school, we made a promise that we would always tell the other if we started dating anybody. We were pretty close, especially since our parents argued a lot during our childhood. Laura would always sneak into my room for bedtime stories. I think that my favorite childhood memories were making up stories for her. Laura would always sit on the floor and stare up at me as I talked."

"It sounds like Laura worshiped you," Hermione smiled, pausing from her note-taking.

"She meant the world to me."

Hermione paused a moment, quickly analyzing her notes before she spoke again, "Did Laura have any habits or any routines? Any weekly purchases? Did she have any enemies? Was there anything she said or did that made you worried for her safety? Did she look like anything was bothering her?"

"Laura liked her watermelon gum, so every Monday night, she would go buy a pack at this small convenience store called Carriage Convenience. I can give you the address. She also liked having her nails done every once in a while. You should talk to her friends for more about her daily habits. As for enemies? The only one I can think of is her cat, but that was only when she forgot to feed him. Laura was very forgetful. Is there anything else you need?"

"If you could give me the address of Carriage Convenience, it would be extremely helpful," Hermione answered, holding out her note pad; just as Samuel finished scribbling down the address, Draco opened the door, propping it open with his foot.

"Samuel, do you have a lab back at your police station?" the male agent asked, holding up a petri dish. "I was just examining one of the stabs on Emily Whitemare and found a small piece of skin that desperately needs an identity."

"Of course," Samuel nodded, peering down at the sliver of skin as Hermione took the petri dish out of his hand. "Anything I can do to find the killer."

"In that case, see you in ten, Malfoy," Hermione promised as she and Samuel began walking down the hall.

"Oi, Granger. You are forgetting something incredibly important," Draco called after her.

Hermione turned around, a sweet smile gracing her lips, "What is it now, Malfoy? Do you miss me already?"

"The only time I plan to cry over you is when I find your dead body stuffed in gutter. We still need to exchange emergency contact information. Yes, Granger, I probably just saved your life and a little thanks would be nice. By the way, my phone is in my back pocket, the left one to be precise," Draco snarked, causing Hermione to let out an incredibly pained groan.

Of all the places for his phone to be!

"I really hate you, Malfoy," Hermione muttered in embarrassment as she slid a hand into the pocket of his jeans and extracted his phone; elsewhere, a security guard choked on his coffee.

"My password is 1701. Do you have your gun?" Draco asked as Hermione entered his password, then punched in her phone number.

"Unless instructed otherwise, agents are required to be armed at all times," Hermione reminded him, as she set down his phone and pulled out her own, adding Draco to her list of contacts.

"See, Granger? I know how to save lives! You can put my phone on the edge of that table. No, not that one...yes, that one," Draco directed, gesturing with his gloved hands. "Keep me updated if you find anything; now get out of here and let me rest in peace...that came out wrong. Anyways, morgue-jokes aside, get out of here. Shoo."

Hermione didn't need to be told twice.

"Are you two new partners?" Samuel asked as they climbed the stairs, passed Scotty, then exited the Stanford Health Care-Stanford Hospital.

"This is my first week as his partner and this is our first case working together, hence not having exchanged our contact information, so yes, we are new to the partners thing. He splashed coffee all over me on my first day and ever since, he has been pretty hard to get along with."

"He splashed coffee on you?" the police officer asked incredulously.

Hermione nodded, then asked, "What about you? How long have you been working with the force?"

"I just got here seven months ago, and all I have been doing is paper work. Well, that was until Laura was murdered. I guess that they don't want me working cases after losing her."

"Don't worry. Once Malfoy and I solve this case, I am sure that the higher-ups will start assigning you cases," Hermione said reassuringly as she started her car, then pulled out of the parking lot.

"I look forward to it," Samuel said eagerly as he unlocked his police cruiser. "What did you do before joining the FBI?"

"I was on the NYPD Homicide Unit. The official name is NYPD Crime Scene Unit. My friends and I jokingly coined ourselves the NYPD Homicide Unit, and the name stuck," the brunette answered. "However, we also dealt with a lot of assault cases. There was always something to do..."

"I guess that crime is always like that, never-ending."

 **XxxX**

"Is Sam Clark here?" Samuel asked, poking his head into the lab.

"Right in the back," a red-haired lab specialists answered as she stared down at the tray in front of her. Samuel nodded thanks, then led Hermione to the back of the room, where a middle-aged man was completely focused on whatever it was under his microscope - no pun intended.

"Clark?" Samuel addressed, tapping the lab specialist on the shoulder.

"Oh. What's up?" the specialist asked as he tore himself away from his work.

"Agent Granger's partner found a piece of skin on one of the dumpster murder-victims. We need an identity as soon as possible," Samuel replied as Hermione held out the petri dish; Clark stared at the sliver of skin for a moment before taking it into his hand.

"I'll see what I can do," the lab specialist answered as he took off the cover of the petri dish.

"Thanks. We will be down in the Stanford Health Care-Stanford Hospital morgue if you need anything, and my phone will be on at all times other than 9 PM through 5 AM."

Sam gave the two a thumbs-up before turning back to his microscope. Just as they were about to walk out of the lab, Hermione stopped, and turned back around. The woman who had told them where Sam had been was still staring at the tray in front of her; upon closer inspection, the tray was filled with scraps of paper.

"Piecing together a message?" Hermione asked, noting the blue writing.

"Yeah. Our computers are getting updated, so that's the only reason I'm doing it by hand," she answered, looking up at Hermione.

"Try pulling this piece down here, turning this piece sideways, and then moving this over," Hermione suggested as she pointed to some of the scraps; the lab specialist did as Hermione had suggested. "Now, move the duck-shaped piece, the one to the left of that one, up and then turn it ninety degrees to the right.

"How did you do that?" she demanded, excitedly pointing at the word that had just appeared. "A pull, a turn, and a slide and voilà! The word 'unconditionally' appears, just like magic."

"I have had a lot of experience piecing together messages, and when I was young, I liked doing crosswords, word searches, and brain teasers," Hermione shrugged before turning to Samuel. "Would you mind if I helped out for a few minutes? It has been a long time since I have done anything like this..."

"Feel free," the sandy-blonde haired officer answered, pulling up a chair as Hermione donned a pair of gloves and started twisting, flipping, and readjusting the scraps. Beside her, the red-haired lab personnel glued the pieces together.

"You have really beautiful hands," Samuel commented, leaning his forearms against the table.

"Who, me?" the red-haired woman asked, her eyes widening in surprise when Samuel nodded.

"Thanks," she answered, shyly brushing a lock of hair behind her ear. "When I'm not solving crime, I am a hand model. Now, pardon me, but I don't know your name."

"Samuel. Samuel Pelance. I don't know yours either."

"Susan. Susan Bones."

"Wait! Your name is Susan Bones?" Hermione exclaimed, jolting in surprise, nearly disturbing the word she had just pieced together. "By any chance, do you know anyone named Ginny Weasley? Flaming red hair, freckles, shortish, brown hair?"

Susan nodded vigorously, "Ginny and I worked together before she was reassigned to the NYPD."

Hermione laughed, "What a small world this is. I'm Hermione Granger, and Ginny was one of my partners before I joined the FBI. She talked about you all the time!"

"That would be Ginny for you. How is she doing?" Susan asked as Samuel helped with putting together the message.

"She is doing great - still alive and fully intact. She texted me a few days ago saying that she thinks her boyfriend is going to break up with her, so I have been stocking up on salted-caramel ice cream. Best breakup ice cream ever...salty-sweet and perfect for gaining calories!"

Both women laughed.

"Well, it looks like we are done with the note," Susan sighed as she looked down at the completed message. "Thank you, Hermione. I hope everything goes well for you! Can I send Ginny my phone number? I lost it after my phone was wiped."

Hermione nodded, then handed her phone over to Susan, who quickly texted her phone number to the other red-haired girl.

"Thanks again!" Susan waved as the two exited. "I hope to see you around again, Samuel!"

Samuel sent her a soft smile, then raised his hand in farewell.

 **XxxX**

"When do you think we will catch Laura's murderer?" Samuel asked Hermione as they walked towards the Stanford Health Care-Stanford Hospital morgue.

"It really depends on what Malfoy can find," Hermione answered, "but according to my friend, Pansy, Draco is very good at finding things that are often overlooked, and finding connections in the weirdest ways. I would place my bet on a few days. Four at most, or so I hope...I only packed for four."

"Really? My friends have been working the case for a months without any results. What makes you think that you can do it faster?" Samuel asked, surprised at her reply.

"You know my friend Ginny, the one I mentioned earlier?" Hermione said, slowing her descent down the stairs. "We had been working a case for a few months and were still stuck when one of the other officers walked in and immediately found a lead. His lead led us right to the killer. Patience and dedication can only go so far. Having another pair of eyes on evidence can be very helpful."

Samuel nodded as Hermione opened the door the morgue, then asked, "One last thing...does seeing death ever get easier?"

Hermione didn't even need to contemplate the question.

"Yes."

With that, she closed the door, and asked, "Did you find anything, Malfoy?"

"Hey there!"

Her hand immediately flew to her gun.

"Relax, Granger," Draco laughed, coming up behind her and pointing to his computer, which was proudly displaying the three faces of Pansy, Theo, and Blaise. "I set up a video conference with the others back home so that they can be part of the case."

"Who did you think I was?" Theo grinned as Hermione lowered her hand from her gun.

"The last time someone used that pickup line, it was a pedophile who liked murdering little girls with a-"

"Alright. Time to quit the chatter; we have a killer to catch," Draco said, snapping on a new pair of gloves. "Now, since you asked what I found, I just took the measurements of the stab wounds. I also found a small piece of the knife in one of the wounds on the unlucky Laura Pelance."

Draco," Hermione said warningly, "please keep in mind that Laura's older brother is waiting outside this _very_ room for you to find her murderer, not to comment on her ill-fortune."

"Wait...did you just say older brother? Is he hot?" Pansy asked, her face looming in the screen as she shoved Theo and Blaise out of the way.

"People, we need to stay focused," Draco interrupted, disgruntled that his workplace was being turned into a chat room.

"Great way to ruin the mood," Pansy pouted, tossing her hair over her shoulder and sticking out her tongue at him.

"Back to the point, no pun intended, we should start creating a profile of the knife. We know that the knife is ten centimeters, and according to the tip I found, it is steel. Now, we know that it has a serrated edge, and that there was a small nick in it. Blaise, have you finished making the program for murder weapon profiles?"

"It is still being refined for ease of access, but _aCute_ should work well enough, so take it away, Pansy," the dark-skinned man answered.

"Just saying, Blaise, but a program meant to identify murder weapons really should not be named _aCute_ ," the short-haired brunette declared as she pulled up the program and began inputting their variables. "It should be named something meaner, like Sharp Stabbing Implements."

"We can save this conversation for later," Theo reminded her as the virtual image of the knife rotated on all their screens. "For right now, you should send me that image so I can find out what company manufactured the knife. After I find the company, you should go get a warrant for a full list of all people living in California who have bought the knife. Now, since it is 10:00 back here, I say that we should call it a night. You guys should go eat dinner. We'll call or text if we find something."

After all the goodnight's and happy-eating's were exchanged, Draco closed the lid of his computer.

"Did you see any Chinese take-out places while you were on your way to the police station? I am seriously craving some lo mein, sweet and sour chicken, and fried rice," Draco complained as he packed up his computer bag, then exited the morgue.

Hermione shook her head.

"In that case, you can search for take-out places as I drive us back to the hotel. And before you ask why I am driving, it is because I deserve it," Draco answered haughtily as he took the keys out of his pocket and dangled them in front of her face, making the brunette go cross-eyed. "You can drive all day tomorrow, as long as you find some Chinese take-out. Yes? Good deal, huh?"

"Sure. Fine. Whatever."

Soon after arriving back at their hotel, Draco and Hermione were sitting in Hermione's room, waiting for their take-out; while the blonde agent watched TV, the latter poured over the case files, furiously scribbling down notes on whatever she deemed necessary.

"Do you ever stop working, Granger?" Draco asked as he turned off the TV and looked over at her.

"I have a hard time falling sleep, and the harder I work, the sleepier I get. It makes sense to me," she grunted, laying out the crime-scene pictures side-by-side in chronological order and scanning for any connections.

Though he was tempted to ask if she had night terrors, just like he did, Draco resisted. The two still barely knew each other, and asking such a bold question could ruin all chances of forming a bond of trust between them, and in their profession, it was important to trust. When she was ready to open up and share more about herself, she would do so, but until then, they were just a stranger that he would be working with. She was just another outsider; an incredibly infuriating outsider who could analyze him, just like he analyzed death.

Before Draco could continue his train of thoughts, a knock sounded at the door: the take-out guy.

"What did you get?" Hermione asked, setting down her pen as Draco closed their door and set the bags down on the counter.

"Let's see...lo mein, sweet and sour chicken, fried rice, egg rolls, kung pao chicken, white rice, spring roll, stir fry, and fortune cookies," Draco named as he pulled out boxes and boxes of food.

"What in the name of all things sacred, Malfoy? We can't possibly eat this much for dinner," Hermione sputtered, staring at all the food that Draco had procured.

"Who said that this is dinner?" Draco asked as he grabbed a paper plate and fork from the bags of necessities that he and Hermione had purchased on the way home. "If I eat sparingly tonight, we should have just enough for tomorrow's breakfast."

Hermione watched in sheer amazement as the blonde helped himself to a little bit of everything, then began munching away at his mountain. As she grabbed a plate and served herself, she told him, "Malfoy, you are never, ever ordering again. Especially if it is Chinese take-out."

Later that night, Draco discovered the reason why someone would happily turn down a room with a king-sized bed and a balcony.

"I really hate you, Granger," he muttered, staring in disgust at the large stain in the center of his sheets.

 **\- - THE NEXT DAY - -**

As Hermione was brushing her teeth the next morning, there was a loud knock at her door.

"Give me a moment," Hermione called as she spat out a mouthful of toothpaste froth, washed down her sink, shook out her toothbrush, and put it back into her toiletries bag. Sliding her feet into her slippers and tightening her robe, Hermione exited the bathroom and opened her door.

"I just got the results for the piece of skin you found, and you are _not_ going to like it," Draco declared as he barged into her room and set his computer on the edge of her bed.

"Good morning, Malfoy. Great to see you today. Please, _do_ feel free to make yourself at home," Hermione snorted, sarcasm dripping from her voice as she closed her door behind her.

"Yes, yes, thank you," Draco muttered as he typed in his password and started clicking at things; Hermione curiously walked over to stand behind his shoulder as he double-clicked something. The next thing she knew, a face had appeared on his screen, another window showing a DNA match just below it.

"No," Hermione whispered, staring at the face in horror.

 **XxxX**

"Samuel Pelance, you are under arrest for the murder of your younger sister, Laura Pelance, and three other have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you," Draco announced as he closed a pair of handcuffs around the officer's wrists.

"W-What is this all about?" Samuel stammered.

"The DNA tests that Sam Clark ran show that it was your skin that I found, and surveillance shows that you either exited your apartment at the approximate time of each murder or were already out," Draco answered. "Furthermore, you purchased a ten centimeter Hunter-Aide knife just about eight months ago. Everything is pointing to you, Samuel."

"I don't understand," Samuel mumbled as Hermione clapped the handcuffs around his wrists. "The only one of the four dumpster victims that I knew was Laura, and that was because she was my sister."

"In that case, can you explain why we found your skin under her fingernails?" Draco asked, leading him away.

"I have no idea how my skin would get there, but I swear on my own life - I did _not_ kill Laura or any of the other three victims."

Fifteen minutes later, Samuel was sitting in the interrogation room.

"Samuel, since you are so adamant about not having murdered these four women, can you tell us where you were on the nights of the murder? We are going to need an alibi for each account."

"Agent Granger," the sandy-blonde haired man said, "Do you remember what I said to Clark yesterday about my phone?"

"You said that he could call at any time, as long as it wasn't 9 PM through 5 AM," Hermione recalled.

"Exactly. For the half-year, I have been spending my nights over at my girlfriend's place, mainly why I tell people not to call at that time. If you want an alibi, I can give you her number."

Draco and Hermione exchanged looks.

 **XxxX**

"Draco, Sam lied to us," Hermione stated as she hung up the phone.

"So he wasn't at his girlfriend's house?" Draco affirmed.

"Wrong Sam, Malfoy. I'm talking about Sam Clark, the lab guy who did the analysis on the piece of skin that we found," Hermione corrected. "Can I see the sheets Blaise sent us this morning, the ones that listed all the people who had bought a Hunter-Aide knife in this area?"

Taking the sheets from his hand, Hermione quickly read through the list of people.

"Well, what do you know," Hermione whistled, pointing to a name at the bottom of the list. "Lewis Clark. I bet that he has some sort of relationship to Sam Clark!"

"Brothers, perhaps?" Draco suggested as he pulled out his computer and searched Lewis.

"And would you look at that?" Hermione commented as Lewis' profile came up. "Lewis Wall is the younger brother of Sam Clark, accused of stealing money from Carriage-...wait a minute! That is the convenience store that Laura bought gum from every Monday night! Get Blaise to check the security videos."

Draco nodded and immediately contacted Blaise.

"Woah...that is pretty cool, Blaise," Hermione remarked as Blaise took over control of Draco's computer and pulled up the convenience store's videos. "Can you find the night that Laura was murdered and speed it up?"

As people flew in and out of the convenience store, Draco and Hermione watched the screen, intently searching for any sign of Lewis and Laura.

"Stop, right there," Draco ordered as Lewis came into the view of the camera. "Would you look at that - our suspect works the evening shift! He must get to know Laura pretty well, considering that she bought gum every Monday night. Continue going, Blaise, but slow it down a little."

People continued coming in and out of the store, and Lewis continued to ring them up for the next few minutes, but then Laura entered the store.

"Look at him, watching her every move. Really creepy, if you ask me," Hermione muttered, her eyes glued to the screen; beside her, Draco silently agreed.

"Draco, he is touching her arm, suggesting familiarity. She is buying the gum, and whoa...what on earth is he doing, leaving the register unattended?"

The investigating agents watched as Lewis led Laura out of the store, his arm on the small of her back.

"Look at how she is holding herself," Hermione pointed out, gesturing to Laura. "She is clearly uncomfortable with the way he is touching her. Blaise, freeze it for a moment and zoom in on his left boot. Can you get it any further?"

"Too pixelated if I try to go any more," came the reply.

"Okay, that's fine. Tell me, does it look like there is something in his boot?" Hermione asked.

"Definitely. Look at how there is a slight lump there - roughly the right size for the knife, according to the program I'm running it through."

"Good work, Blaise, but now what?" Draco asked as Lewis and Laura left the store.

"We wait," Hermione answered. "Lewis probably murdered Laura during the next few minutes. He should be coming back soon, and if he is covered in blood - seeing as all the murders were incredibly violent, then he is the killer."

The three Aurors waited in silence, only stirring when the door of the store opened again.

"Well, it looks like we found our killer," Draco said gravely as Lewis took off his shirt, threw it in the trash, and donned one of the t-shirts that hung on the wall behind the counter.

"I say that we go after Lewis and have Samuel check out Sam's place," Hermione suggested as she scribbled down the locations of Lewis' apartment and workplace. "Sam definitely lied to us about whose skin that was, making him an accomplice in murder."

"Go start the car as I set Samuel free. Please, though...don't drive off without me!"

"I swear, this morning was a complete accident!"

"Bologna!"

"It is ba-low-nee, not ba-log-na!"

"Whatever - you got my point!"

Not too soon after Hermione had started the car, Draco and Samuel came rushing out.

"Step on it," Draco announced breathlessly as he closed the door and reached for the buckle; Hermione did not need to be told twice, immediately stepping on the gas, navigating through the busy streets of Sacramento.

The moment that they arrived at Lewis' apartment, Draco and Hermione drew their guns, rushing through the doors and up the stairs, ignoring the shrieks and stares that came from around them. Both agents moved together, quickly arriving at the killer's home. A single nod from Hermione was answered by another by Draco, who then turned the knob and let himself in.

Much to their surprise, there were two people in the room.

"Hands in the air, ye merry explorers!" Draco ordered as he pointed his gun at the Sam and Hermione pointed hers at Lewis; the two brothers did as told.

"Was that really necessary, calling them explorers?" Hermione questioned as removed a pair of handcuffs from her pocket, her gun still trained on her Lewis.

"Of course it was," Draco retorted as the two FBI agents handcuffed the brothers. "Lewis Clark, you are under arrest for the murder of four innocent women. Sam Clark, you are under arrest for being an accomplice to your brother's murder, and covering up evidence. Both of you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney, and if you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you."

 **XxxX**

"I killed them," Lewis admitted, staring across the table at his interrogator.

"Yes, you killed them in the dumpster behind Carriage Convenience with a ten-centimeter, serrated Hunter-Aide knife. I also know that after every murder, you would throw out the bloody shirt and take one of the shirts hanging on the wall behind you. I know that you moved the second, third, and fourth victims and that you called your brother after committing the first murder. I know that you asked him to cover up all the evidence that you were at the scene of the crime. I know that your brother sent us Sam's record this morning to throw us off and give you two time to come up with an escape plan - a ploy which obviously didn't work. I know so many facts about your murder, except for why you killed them," Hermione stated, her eyes cold.

"Because, they were pretty...they were pretty and I loved them," the four-time murderer laughed ruefully.

"If you loved them so much, why did you kill them? Tell us the real reason."

"I asked all four of them out, and they turned me down. I am lanky and gangly. I have acne peppered across my face and have to wear glasses. Who could love someone like me?"

"Does body build really matter that much? Everyone is unique and should be proud to be. Acne? It can be overlooked - everyone deals with it at some point or another. Glasses? Your eyes are the window to your soul, and if you can't see out of them, who will try to see into them?Who will look into your soul and know when you are feeling down? Besides, glasses help keep your horizons broad. Lastly, there is always someone out there who loves you. Now that I have completely killed your petty excuses, I want you to tell me why you killed them."

Lewis looked down at his hands. "Because, the first one called me a creep after she turned me down...a creep."

"So, you killed the first one out of rage, then took out this rage on the other three when they turned you down? You killed them because you were afraid?"

Lewis nodded, twisting his hands as he avoided looking back up at Hermione.

"I see," Hermione said before standing up and leaving the room, slamming the door behind her.

"What did you learn from explorer number one?" Draco asked.

"He asked Laura Pelance out, and after turning him down, she called him a creep. The other three were killed because he was scared that they would call him a creep after turning him down," the brunette replied softly.

"Not bad, Granger," the male agent acknowledged. "Case closed, and back to D.C."

Hermione froze, then groaned, "Malfoy, we forgot to call Samuel and tell him that we have both of them in custody!"

"Oh, shoot."

 **XxxX**

"Aww, come on! Why did I miss all the fun?" Samuel whined as he entered the station.

"Because we are the FBI and you are just a lowly police officer?" Draco suggested, to which Hermione slapped him on the arm.

"Respect the police, Draco. Don't let me ever hear you trash-talk them again," she growled, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Gee, Grumpy-Granger. What's with the attitude?"

Hermione slapped him yet again, "I was a police officer myself, Malfoy, so I would appreciate if you quit giving my brothers and sisters a hard time! We spend just as much time as the FBI does, saving lives and fighting crime!"

"Hey! You know what? That rhymed!"

"You totally missed the point I was trying to make, Malfoy."

"Then what was the point?"

Samuel snickered as Hermione slapped Draco a third time, then started a lecture on respecting others.

Later that evening, after yet another horrible flight, Hermione was peacefully taking a bubble bath. As she snacked on grapes and cheese and flipped through the last few pages of her favorite book, the music that was softly playing from her phone was interrupted by a loud ringing.

Glancing over at where her phone lay, right next to her gun, she let out a sigh.

"What is it now, Malfoy?" she demanded as she answered her phone.

"Snape just gave us a new case...New Hampshire, this time..."

"But we _just_ got back from Sacramento!" she exclaimed.

"Sorry, but yes-way, Granger," an incredibly annoying voice announced as her bathroom door creaked open.

Moments later, an ear-piercing shriek was heard throughout D.C.

"GET THE HELL OUT OF MY BATHROOM!"

* * *

 **Inspiration Song:** "Creep" by Radiohead _(Album: Pablo Honey)_ **  
A Special Thank You To:** ApriltelloIsMyOTP, who was my first reviewer

ApriltelloIsMyOTP: There is no way I can thank you enough, so this is the least that I can do...  
Guest _(Guest)_ : It always feels good when you catch a story when it is just starting!  
SereniteRose: Thank you so much, especially since you are such a faithful reader of my stories.

This is the longest chapter I have ever written, a little over eight-thousand words, and "You're All I've got Tonight" is already my third-longest story. If anyone is wondering, it is currently January 2012 in the story and the song on the radio was "Tonight, Tonight" by Hot Chelle Rae. Smiley faces to anyone who got the "Hotel California" reference that I made!

Please pardon any mistakes, as I normally edit my own work, but feel free to give me a gentle correction if you see a glaring error.


	3. Joining the Team

**You're All I've Got Tonight  
Disclaimer:** My name is Brigitta and not Joanne Rowling, so I can not claim any rights to the Harry Potter series.

* * *

To: Current Readers  
From: Starlight-Mist  
Subject: Another Quick Note

Just a few quick things to note before I get started. Each chapter starts on a Monday unless otherwise specified, which makes this the start of Hermione's third week in the FBI; the cover-art for this story is indeed mine, so please ask me for permission before using; and I know that the timeline for Draco's med school and doctorate don't line up, but for the sake of the story, he has his bachelor's degree, his medical degree, and his pathology residency, and is working on his forensic pathology fellowship. Long story short, in two years, Draco will be fully licensed to perform autopsies without someone looking over his shoulder. Cheers!

※ UNSUB - an unknown subject  
※ John Doe - a name for an unidentified male body; the female version is Jane Doe

TOTAL: Favorites (6), Follows (15), Reviews (10)  
 _Please see the ending note for reviewer replies._

* * *

 **Chapter Three  
** Joining the Team  
(Published on 12/4/2016)

 _"Dad! I'm not a little boy anymore. I am twenty-two years, relatively successful for having just emerged from college, and can make my own decisions now," the man said, shooting out of his seat. "You need to let me do this!"_

 _"I said no!" the second man roared as he slammed a fist into the table._

 _"I'm going to do it, dad. I don't care what you say," Lucas growled, clenching his fists. "This is my life and I am going to do what I want with it. I know that it is going to be hard, but I_ can _and_ will _make this work."_

 _His father took a deep, measured breath before looking his son in the eyes, "You_ will _regret it. That's all I'm going to say. You do it, and you will regret it..."_

\- - END OF PREVIEW - -

"Let me get this straight, Draco. After breaking into Hermione's apartment and waiting until she pelted you with grapes to remove yourself from her bathroom, you told her that her hair is frizzy when it gets wet, then left, only to return the next day with a pair of lace underwear with the words SORRY, SEXY embroidered on them. And you wonder why she almost filleted you with her kitchen knife!?" Pansy snorted as she waggled a neon yellow highlighter at a certain Auror Agent.

"What should I have done? Tap danced on the roof of her rent-a-car?" Draco asked, placing his feet up on Pansy's desk, much to her disgust.

"Draco, why can't you just be a normal person and give her an apology? Buying her a cup of tea would have worked out just fine," the sassy mediator said.

"But where are we supposed to go?" the blonde whined as he batted the fluorescent marker out of her hand. "The Whomping Willow is closed for construction, and you _know_ that they are the best coffee shop. I mean, free refills until 10:00! Now _that_ is the epitome of bliss!"

"Draco, why don't you just face it? You were incredibly stupid to your partner and need to apologize. Now, by the powers vested in me _by_ me, you are going to take Hermione to the new café that just opened downtown. And make sure you pay!" the facial reconstruction specialist screeched before shoving him out of her section of the lab, which was was how Draco and Hermione wound up standing in Amortentia, waiting to order their drinks.

As they stepped up to the counter, Draco stated bluntly, "Pansy told me to pay."

"I'll pay for the next one then," the brunette announced calmly before ordering a large green tea with a touch of lemon and honey.

"And for you, young man?" asked their barista, a plump woman named Madam Puddifoot.

"A hot venti latte will do just fine, thank you, ma'am," Malfoy answered, flashing her a charming smile as he placed a twenty on the counter in front of her. After receiving his change, Draco dumped the coins into the tip jar, then followed Hermione to the pick-up counter.

"Have you been here before?" the shorter of the two asked as she settled in the nook next to the counter.

"This is my first time, but Pansy recommended it, so I assume that the drinks will be good," Draco answered, sweeping his hair out of his face. A long bout of silence followed this statement, lasting right up until their orders were called.

"That was fast," Hermione commented as she slid a sleeve onto her cup, then followed Draco out the door. Just as they entered their issued vehicle, Draco's cell phone rang.

"FBI, Special Agent- Hey Theo! Great. Text me the directions and we'll see you there. Yeah, Granger is with me. Set up a link with the lab and make sure the techs document everything. Please tell me Creevey is there. Good. If there is one thing that brat knows how to do properly, it's to photograph a crime scene. See you there. Bye."

The blonde hung up, then turned to his partner, "Police received an anonymous tip about a badly-burnt body. Theo is already on the scene. Let's go."

 **XxxX**

"Top of the morning to you," Theo greeted, saluting them from above a charred set of remains.

"Good-morning to you too, Theo," Hermione answered as she and Draco skirted around a patch of boulders. "Can I call you Teddy?"

At her question, Theo took a shuddering and Draco shot her a nasty look; Hermione immediately raised her arms in surrender. What was _with_ these people? Did everything have to be a touchy subject? The new agent mumbled a 'never mind' and meekly jumped off of the boulder she had been standing on.

There was yet another stiff moment of silence before Draco crouched down next to the remains, then asked Theo what he had found.

"Firstly, the victim was definitely moved after the burning, which can be supported by the pollen I found on him. Secondly, the fire burned for quite a long time; the muscles have contracted and the bones have shrunk. We have no way of identifying how tall or how much he weighed right here on the spot, and the wallet is pretty badly burnt, but we'll see if Pans and Blaise can work their magic."

"How do you know the body is a he?" Hermione asked.

"Look at the pelvic inlet," Draco answered, snapping on a pair of latex gloves. "Observe how it is both narrow, and heart shaped. Both are indicators of a male. Pass me some tweezers?"

Hermione complied, and as the blonde began an examination of the bones, Theo continued with what he had found, "I also found a few scraps of urethane-coated polyester, or in other words, a tarp. A bright blue one, to be precise. This would suggest that the victim was wrapped and dragged, which I probably would've been able to prove had it not rained last night."

"Huh. Dragging might explain the excessive damage to his bones," Draco remarked as he tweezed something off of the victim, a small silver band. "What do you make of this, Theo?"

"It looks like a wedding band to me," Theo chirped, taking a look at the loop of metal and then bagging it. As Draco and Theo continued their work on the body, Hermione drifted away from them, her attention wandering to her surroundings. Yellow tape surrounded the crime scene and police were scattered around the park. Civilians wandered past the investigation party, and although a few stayed, most of them just continued walking.

 _Why did our unsub dump the body here, of all places?_ Hermione wondered, turning to take in the crime scene. _Also, why was our victim burned? How do I get into this guy's head? Where do I start? Love, sex, and jealousy? Money, fame, and power? Hate, arguments, and impulse? Drugs and Secrecy? Accidents and frustration?_

"Oi, Granger! It looks like it is about to rain, so get your head of the clouds and help us search for trace evidence!" Draco called, waving her over as an energetic blonde took more pictures of the crime scene. Hermione hesitated for a moment before heading over.

 _After all_ , Hermione thought bitterly, _cold hard science is more important than psychology._

An hour later, Hermione and Draco were back in Hogwarts, wheeling the corpse through the common room and down Snape's hallway. Theo, who had lead the way, opened the door and assisted Draco and Hermione with getting through the door.

"What have you two been up to?" Draco asked as they lifted the body over to a lab table.

Pansy spun around. "Blaise and I just filed the forms from our last case and added a feature to FaceIt that factors freckles and birthmarks into account-"

"None of which is vital to this case. What _useful_ things have you two been up to?"

"Well, we took a look at the photos that Colin sent and tried to get an approximate height for him. We also checked to see if we could trace the anonymous tip, which turned out to be as named - anonymous. However, without the body, we weren't able to do too much," Blaise shrugged, "But the body is here now, so we can finally get to work. We called Mungos, but he obviously is still on his way over."

"Ten dollars he's stuck in traffic again?" Pansy asked as she began taking measurements on the bones.

"Do you really think I'm stupid enough to take that bet?" Draco snorted, sitting down in one of the lab chairs. "I can't wait until I'm certified to perform the autopsies."

Feeling lost and very much like an outsider, Hermione turned to leave the lab, but was stopped by Theo's hand on her shoulder, "Hey Hermione. You do realize that you are one of us now, right? Grab your laptop and join us here, won't you?"

The brunette hesitated, but nodded. Satisfied with her answer, Theo removed his hand from her shoulder and let her exit the room.

Hermione walked down the dimly-lit hallway to her office, inwardly musing. Theo's invitation to come back to the lab had been the first time that someone other than Pansy had extended a branch of friendship to her. Her lips curved up as she entered her still-hideously-pink office and unplugged her laptop from the wall. Coiling her cord, she set it on top of her laptop and picked up her mouse. Her materials secured, she left the room and returned to the lab.

Half an hour later, according to Draco's moping, the four other agents were joined by a short, stocky man who introduced himself as S.T. Mungos. Formalities settled, he returned to overseeing Draco and Hermione joined Pansy at her desk. Opening her computer, she logged in and began working.

"Location first," Hermione spoke to herself, copying and pasting the images of the crime scene into a blank document. She then arranged the photos in an order that she liked and diligently began typing notes under each one as Draco began removing the victim's lungs and Pansy inputted the measurements she'd taken.

"The victim was dead before he was burnt," Draco announced after an inspection of their John Doe's lungs.

 _Because our victim was burned after his death, it makes me lean more to the idea that this was not a planned killing; perhaps the unsub killed this man by accident, or out of passion, and burned him to cover up his death...but if that were so, why leave him in such a public place? If it were a cover-up, the unsub would've left him in a remote place, somewhere no one would think to look, so I am less inclined to think that the fire was a cover-up,_ Hermione thought to herself, not noticing that Blaise had come up behind her and was now reading her notes.

"Is this hard for you?" he asked, startling Hermione and almost causing her to fall out of her chair.

"What?" she asked, turning to look at Blaise.

"Is this hard for you, taking your notes and forming a profile like this, on a document?" Blaise queried, to which Hermione nodded.

"If you want, I can make a program for you," he offered before turning to the screen. "It seems that you are trying to space out these photos so that you can see them as more of a web, instead of rows and columns. Also, this list right here...you can't just click on the boxes and make check-marks appear. You actually have to take the time to go to the symbols option and insert the box with a check mark in here. It's not that hard for me to make a list feature that creates checks when clicked."

"Really?" Hermione asked, perking up. The way that she had been organizing her notes recently had not been an easy task for her, and such a program would greatly reduce the time formatting and positioning the images and text.

Blaise nodded, "It might take me some time, but it's manageable. I'll start working on a program with an 'images and captions' and 'checklist' option; we can add and refine the program afterwards."

"Thank you so much," Hermione sighed.

Blaise smiled softly at her, "I know how annoying not having the right program can be. We all do."

Pansy, who was sitting across from Hermione, smacked her head on the surface of her desk and groaned in agreement, "Before Blaise created _aCute_ , _FaceIt_ , and all my other programs, I had to use this really stupid program that cost a good $50,000, had extremely sensitive filters, and crashed every time a search took more than fifteen minutes. I nearly had to buy a wig after all the stress that thing caused me!"

Hermione shot her a sympathetic smile, then turned back to her computer, only to be interrupted by Theo's announcement that the deformed piece of metal that they had previously thought was a wedding band was not a wedding band.

"I'm going to see if we can figure out what it's made of," Theo announced. "The metal doesn't seem to be badly melted, so we should be able to figure out how hot the fire was, and possibly how long it burned. Pans, how is the identification going?"

"I just scanned the melted ID, and my computer is rendering," she answered as laser-like lines whooshed back and forth over the bent scan of the ID and straightened it, creating a face for the victim. "I should have an ID in ten to fifteen, if not sooner. Draco, how is the autopsy going?"

"Uhh...I think I found a stab wound?" Draco replied as he squinted down at a rib. Everyone immediately crowded around the table, trying to get a look. Mr. Mungo immediately waved everyone back a few steps, then bent down to examine the ribs.

"I concur," he stated after an examination. "Your victim was stabbed between ribs six and seven."

"Wouldn't that mean that our unsub is left-handed?" Hermione asked, miming a stabbing motion on Draco, first with her right hand and then with her left.

"Amazing powers of observation, Granger," Draco snarked, batting her hands away from his body. "Anything else you would like to share with us?"

"Yes. A few things. Firstly, women tend to drown, suffocate, and poison, but typically avoid stabbing. Secondly, only 10% of people are left handed. However, I believe this man is the victim of a crime of passion or spur of the moment, which would point more towards a woman."

Draco turned to Pansy, "If you have a height for this victim, can you run a scenario for this stab wound to see the approximate height of this person?"

"On it, boss," Pansy saluted before jumping onto her rolling chair and spinning over to her computer, almost as if she had practice the perfect spinning technique. She quickly connected it to the projector and started up a program; a few moments later, she had created an implement to mime the stabbing-implement and factored it into her scenario program. "The victim is approximately 174 cm, so if we factor in the angle that the implement came down at, we can get the killer's height, which is...160 cm."

Right after that announcement, her computer beeped twice and an ID popped up, "Our victim appears to be Luke Valencia, twenty two years, graduate of the University of Pennsylvania. He was reported missing yesterday by his roommate. Does that face look about right?"

Mungos replied, "It looks right, but we better clean off the bones and double-check the ID. You can never be too careful with burnt corpses. I do recall that one time where we thought that we had a positive ID and wound up telling a man that his wife was dead, only for her to come out of the living room."

"I can't imagine that went down well," Hermione remarked.

"The situation ended with the woman spraying Draco with a can of two-hundred dollar hair spray and screaming about law enforcement harassing her. Draco's hair looked like a seagull's behind for days afterwards," Pansy answered with a wry smile. "Also, now that I think of it, I'm pretty sure I have a picture."

"I'll take a print!" Theo called loudly.

"Pansy," Draco said in an eerily calm voice, "you have five seconds to get out of here before this scalpel _accidentally_ slips from my hand..."

 **XxxX**

Half an hour later, Draco and Hermione were standing on Luke's father's doorstep.

"Mr. Valencia! This is Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger with the FBI. Open up!"

"You pronounced my name wrong, again," Hermione hissed, elbowing him in the ribs. "It's not pronounced her-me-own, but her-my-oh-knee."

"Po-tay-toe po-tah-toe. Let's talk about that later, Granger...like maybe when we're not about to notify a guy that his son is dead."

The two agents waited a few more minutes before calling for Mr. Valencia to open up yet again. When the door finally opened half a minute later, Draco and Hermione were confronted by a clearly annoyed man wearing a frilly pink apron and large oven mitts, who spat angrily, "What do you damn FBI agents want? My damn soufflé just collapsed, so you better have a damn good reason!"

"Well, our damn good reason for collapsing your damn soufflé is that your damn son, Luke, is dead," Draco retorted, his politeness-filter slipping before he could catch it.

Hermione gaped at his audacity and prepared for a lot of swearing or disbelief from Luke's father, but much to her surprise, all that came out was, "Oh. Is that so? Can I go back to my kitchen now? I've got some brownies in the oven."

As he tried to shut the door, Hermione jammed her foot in the crack. "Did you hear what we said? Your son is _dead_."

"Yeah? And so?" Mr. Valencia replied tersely.

"You know, I don't have much patience with people who care more about their 'damn soufflé' than their own flesh and blood," Draco retorted.

Mr. Valencia glared at Draco, but seeing that Draco wasn't going to be going anywhere any time soon, he saying, "Why don't you go talk to his girlfriend? Lindsay Stavers. She lives in the apartment below him. Anything else, or am I done here?"

Draco raised an eyebrow, but gave up, handing the man a business card with his info. "Call me if you know anything else, and try to stay in town."

"Whatever you say, stiff-suit. Now, about my brownies..." Mr. Valencia muttered, accepting the card before slamming his door in their faces.

"I think that went over pretty well," Hermione remarked sarcastically as they walked down his driveway and got back in their car, Draco in the driver's seat. "Anyways, I suppose we should talk with his girlfriend and roommate. Do we know Luke's address?"

"Pansy loaded it to the GPS before we left," Draco replied as he started his car, the pulled away from the curb, narrowly missing the mailbox, which warranted him a "Watch it!" from Hermione. Some time later, the two Aurors arrived at Luke's apartment.

"Lindsay Stavers, FBI. Please open up," Hermione knocked. The door was opened a few moments later by a young woman, whose eyes immediately teared up upon seeing the serious look Hermione wore. The brunette Auror Agent swallowed, then lowered her head. "I am very sorry, Miss Stavers, but your boyfriend was found this morning. We have a few questions for you. Can we come in?"

Taking a shaky breath, Lindsay opened the door for them, then led Hermione and Draco to her kitchen.

Never one to delay, Draco dove right in with the questions, "Can you think of any people who might have wanted to kill Luke? Any fights?"

"Luke had a big fight with his father two days ago," Lindsay answered, brushing a tear off of her cheek. "You see, Luke and I just found out that I am three-weeks pregnant. His father wanted me to get an abortion because he was afraid that it would tarnish Luke's reputation as a businessman, having a child out of wedlock. He also wanted us to stop seeing each other. I wasn't there when they fought, but Luke said that he would regret supporting me. Do you think his father could have killed him?"

"Well, seeing that his father considered that his brownies and soufflé were more important, I would say it's possible," Draco remarked.

Lindsay shook her head, "No, not that father. Daniel Valencia is his adoptive father and Marvin Maendhel is his real father. Marvin got his high school girlfriend pregnant and demanded an abortion because they were not wed, but she refused and left him. Ironically enough, he hired Luke at his company and only recently found out that Luke was his real son."

"What happened to Luke's mom?" Hermione asked.

"She died after he started college. Cancer."

"Okay then. Can you tell us a bit more about his adoptive father? He seemed to really dislike Luke."

"Daniel? No, no. I'm sure he was just expressing his hurt in his own way. Daniel really cares a lot about Luke. When he found out that Marvin had claimed Luke as his own, he was furious and told Luke that Marvin only wanted to associate with him because he was smart. Luke wasn't too happy about that, and said that he would rather be the son of a millionaire than the son of a lowly baker," Lindsay answered. "The first person who I told about the pregnancy was Daniel. He wanted to support us, but Luke didn't want anything to do with him; Daniel's still pretty mad at Luke."

"So, it sounds like Luke wanted nothing to do with Daniel and everything to do with Marvin, but you preferred Daniel over Marvin. Did you and Luke ever fight about this?"

"Yes, all the time," Lindsay sighed, pinching the bridge of nose, "but I would never kill Luke."

"Alright then. Is there anything else you would like us to know?" Hermione asked, to which Lindsay shook her head. "Thank you for your time. Here's my card. Call me if anything comes to mind, or just if you want to talk."

With that, the two Aurors showed themselves out of her house.

 **XxxX**

"So, what do you think, psycho?" Draco asked, casting a quick glance around the hall before inserting his Snitch into the Seeker.

"Psychologist, not psycho," Hermione said, annoyed, as the light glowed green. "I think that Lindsay is telling the truth about Luke and his fathers."

"Yeah, but I still get the feeling that there is something more to Daniel," Draco commented as they entered the common room. He immediately made a beeline for the mini-fridge; like a little boy on his birthday, he withdrew a box of take-out, then opened the carton. Upon seeing its contents, he immediately started cursing.

"What is it?" Hermione asked, having just disposed of her cup of tea.

"That blasted take-out stealing bumbling idiot of a red-haired orangutan ate my sweet-and-sour chicken and pad thai!" Draco exclaimed, shoving the empty box in her face. "Who does he think he is? The King of Hogwarts? I should write a song about this...Weasley is our king, Weasley is our king, He always eats my everything, Weasley is our _blasted_ king! This is the second time this month and it is only the third week of January!"

After a while of just standing there and letting Draco rant about never having Chinese take-out in Hogwarts, whether it was this Weasley guy's fault or Blaise's fault, Hermione decided to slip away to the lab; Pansy was _much_ better company than a ranting Draco.

"I take it that Draco is fighting the ducks again?" Pansy asked, looking up from her computer as Hermione entered.

"What?" Hermione asked, grabbing a chair and taking a seat; did she just really hear the words 'Draco', 'fighting', and 'ducks' in the same sentence?

"Never mind then. So, where did you lose Draco."

"I left him ranting to the fridge about bumbling orangutans and chicken and pad thai," Hermione said, cringing.

Pansy laughed, "I suppose Weasley struck again."

"Who _is_ Weasley?" she asked.

"He is one of the guys in the McGonagall bunch," Pansy answered. "We have a rocky relationship with them, especially since there is a lot of bad blood between us. Draco can tell you about it when he feels ready. Anyways, how do you feel about Hogwarts so far?"

Hermione sighed, "I think working with the NYPD was easier than dealing with the Flamingo Room and Draco. If it isn't coffee-sloshing then it is picking fights, and if it isn't picking fights, it's breaking into my apartment, and if it isn't breaking into my apartment, it's getting on my nerves."

"Draco is typically tamer than this, although he _does_ like picking fights and getting on peoples' nerves," Pansy admitted, tying up her hair.

Just then, the door to the lab burst open and Draco entered, scowling, "Nice, Granger. Nice. Leave me talking to myself, huh?"

"I thought I left you talking to the fridge," Hermione quipped.

Draco flipped her off, then pulled out his cell phone, punching in a few numbers before raising it to his ear, "Hey, Reyna. Can you make an appointment for me with Marvin Maendhel? Thanks darling. No, I'm taken by this really cute little chick from the Bahamas. Sorry. I know, I know, cutie, but-...there are other people out there, Reyna. Oh, darling, don't get mad at me...I know, cutie...yes, now can you please get me the appointment? No, you do not know this chick..."

This conversation continued on for a while before Draco hung up.

"So, why is it that I never heard about your 'really cute' Bahamas chick?" Pansy pounced, her eyes with a predatory look.

"Probably because she doesn't exist," Draco replied flippantly. "I have no idea why I ever got involved with Reyna. She's an octopus, I tell you. Anyways, chop-chop Granger. We have a meeting with Marvin Maendhel in fifteen minutes."

One dangerously fast car ride later, the two Auror agents made it past Reyna's tentacles and demands as to whether Hermione was his 'really cute little chick from the Bahamas' and were seated in Marvin Maendhel's office.

The three adults sat in silence for a while before Hermione cleared her throat.

"Sir, we heard that you and your son got into a fight about his girlfriend being pregnant. I also have proof that you purchased a blue _Cover It_ tarp, the same material used to wrap and drag your son's body. We also know that you left your apartment late last night. Can you tell us where you were going?"

"I was planning on paying a visit to his girlfriend, but met a friend along the way," Marvin Maendhel answered. "We stopped for a beer before going our separate ways this morning, at three."

"Can we have the phone number of this friend?" Hermione asked.

Instead of responding, Marvin turned to Draco, "So, young Malfoy, how is your father doing? I heard that he broke his arm last winter."

Draco laced his fingers together before replying, "Mother says he is almost recovered, yet already back to work."

"Aa. Sounds like Lucius. There is gossip going around in my company that Luke and his co-worker Jordan Paulstein got in a spat a few days ago. Jordan is also his roommate."

The male agent nodded, then stood up and steered his partner out of the room, ignoring her hiss of "What about the phone number?" until they had exited the room. He then answered her, "The friend Maendhel encountered was my father."

"Wait, how does your father know Maendhel?" she asked as they stepped into the elevator.

The blonde shot her a weird look, "I thought you were supposed to be the smart one, Granger. What is my last name?"

"Malfoy," Hermione said, not quite catching on. "Malfoy, Malfoy...Malfoy...wait!"

Draco sighed, "Took you long enough. Draco Malfoy, only son of Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy and the heir to over twenty million."

However, instead of gaping over his money, wealth, and influence like most other women did, his counterpart just sighed and stated, "No wonder you are a stuck-up, snooty, arrogant, aristocratic prat. However, I do have to admit that you are a good agent."

With that, Hermione exited the elevator and walked, the keys to their car swinging in her hand as a slightly-shocked Draco Malfoy watched her.

 _She did_ not _just blow me off as a stuck-up, snooty, arrogant, aristocratic prat!_

 **XxxX**

"Mr. Paulstein! Open up! FBI!"

"Thank you," Hermione whispered as the door opened to reveal a clean shaven man wearing overalls and holding a paint roller covered in cream paint.

"FBI, huh. Can I help you guys?" he asked, leaning against the door frame.

"Your roommate was found dead this morning," Draco answered, "and we heard that you two had a spat. May we know what about?"

"We are re-decorating this place and he wanted a yellow and I wanted a cream," Jordan answered casually.

"Really?" Hermione asked, raising an eyebrow.

"What do _you_ think, cupcake?" Jordan asked, poking her on the nose and leaving a streak of cream paint; she calmly rubbed the paint off her nose. Seeing as she wasn't going to get mad at him, Jordan straightened up. "We were talking about the company. Luke just received a raise that was mine."

"And that made you mad," Hermione supplied.

"Aren't you a genius," the businessman snorted. "Now, leave before I call my lawyer."

The two agents exchanged a look before bidding the man a farewell. The second his door closed, Hermione grabbed Draco's hand and dragged him down the hall.

"Did you see the tarp in the background? The one covering the sofa?" Hermione demanded as she pulled them towards the car. "It was blue, and isn't paint very flammable? Also, did you see his ear, the one that was faced away from us? It had bandages on it! If you think about it, everything makes sense. Jordan was in line for a raise, but Luke got it instead. Jordan probably blamed him for using his father's influence to get the raise!"

"But this is all speculation," Draco countered as Hermione pulled out of the parking lot.

"Look, Malfoy. If we get a search warrant, we can search for the item that stabbed Luke and test the blue tarp for the pollen. Also, maybe we can find an image of Jordan wearing the earring. We have probable cause for a warrant!"

"Fine," Draco answered, pulling out his phone to text Pansy.

"I guess you are right, Granger. Pansy and Theo were testing the bones and they found traces of toluene, xylene, ethyl acetate, formaldehyde, and a few other compounds that are normally found in paint. She's working on our search warrant right now."

"Tell her to search Jordan and see if he has an earring that matches the one we found," Hermione instructed.

An hour later, at about 9:00 PM, armed with search warrants and nerd material, the Snape crew and a handful of other FBI techs knocked upon Jordan's door. He opened up, then promptly demanded an explanation.

"Mr. Paulstein, we have probably cause to believe that you murdered Luke Valencia, also known as Luke Maendhel," Draco announced. "We have a search warrant."

Jordan stared back at Draco for a terse few seconds before opening his door. Theo and Pansy immediately walked over the tarps and paint cans, Blaise following shortly with the tech equipment. Draco, Hermione, and Jordan watched as the techs searched his apartment.

"We found blood," one of the techs announced, showing the area of floor under a rug; it glowed blue under the light of the black flashlight.

"I have no idea how that got there," Jordan announced.

"Pollen is a match," Theo followed up, looking up from his microscope. "The paint results will be in quite soon, but we already have him on three counts. Earring, blood, and tarp. Plus motive."

"Fine then," Draco nodded as he pulled out his handcuffs. "Jordan Paulstein, you are under arrest for the murder of Luke Valencia or Luke Maendhel. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you use can and will be used against you in a court of law. You also have the right to an attorney; if you cannot provide one, which I highly doubt, an attorney will be provided for you. Case is as good as closed. Granger, will you please go tell Lindsay?"

Hermione nodded, then disappeared.

Later that night, the agents were in the lab, watching as the techs moved Luke's remains.

"I would love to say that I can't believe that someone would murder their friend over something as petty as a raise, but I can't exactly say that," Hermione sighed.

"And then to burn them in the woods?" Theo asked. "We humans are sometimes nastier than animals."

"Well, at least everything with Lindsay worked out," Blaise said quietly.

When Hermione had gone down to talk with Lindsay, she had found that both of Luke's fathers were in her apartment, talking over the baby. Daniel had decided to let Lindsay move in with him and his wife, and they would support her through the pregnancy. It also was revealed that Marvin had given her a short apology, then offered to pay for the baby's schooling, when it came time. Lindsay had answered that she would think about it. That was when Hermione had arrived.

"True," Draco mused, pushing himself off of the edge of the table he had been leaning on. "Although I am sure that Marvin would have come to his senses sooner or later. Now, if you guys don't mind, I'm going to go grab myself some Chinese food. You coming, Blaise?"

"Of course. It's Chinese food," his friend answered, grabbing a jacket and a scarf.

"We'd better get going too," Pansy stated, turning off her computer as the five agents exited the lab, then locked up. The elevator ride was filled with chatter, and Hermione found herself laughing as Pansy told her the story of Draco fighting the ducks as the blonde scowled. The two women laughed as Draco practically bolted out of the elevator once it opened, though whether it was in excitement for Chinese food or out of humiliation was hard to tell.

"Want to go out and grab a drink with us?" Pansy offered, tilting her head in question as she held the door. "Solving a murder in a day is often a little much...and rare."

Hermione hesitated. On one hand, she really wanted to get a drink and hang out with the others, but on the other hand, she was almost through _Moonwalking With Einstein_ and there was a new murder mystery out on the shelves. And she had to get groceries.

"I'm sorry, but not today. Maybe next time?" Hermione responded before exiting the lobby.

Pansy sighed, "I guess it's just us, Teddy."

Theo remained silent.

* * *

 **Inspiration Song:** "Come With Me Now" by Kongos _(Album: Lunatic)_ **  
A Special Thank You To:** Bewitching-Incalescence-4ever, who gave me advice on how to make the story more-realistic

Fireballin117: Thank you for visiting! I really appreciate it.  
Guest (Guest): I'm glad you like it! I find crime-fighter AU's very rare, so thought that I should try my hand at it. Thanks!  
Sora Loves Rain: Well, here is Chapter 3! Hope you find this one interesting as well.  
Moony (Guest): Thank you for the support! Here is the update!

Why can Pansy call Theo "Teddy" while Hermione can not? The plot thickens! Also, it is pretty hard keeping the humor balanced with the seriousness of the story. Draco is kind of a womanizer in this fic, but I promise that there is a good reason. Calculations for the height of the killer are complete bull, as is most of the psychology in here, but I _do_ indeed do research on many things I write about. _Moonwalking With Einstein_ is a 2011 book by Joshua Foer about the art of memorization.

Please pardon any mistakes, as I normally edit my own work, but feel free to give me a gentle correction if you see a glaring error.

* * *

There is a poll up for what the next chapter should be about; go to my profile to vote for one of the two:  
\- Too Old, Too Close: When a young teacher is killed, Draco and Hermione unravel a gruesome murder and a forbidden love between student and teacher.  
\- All Star or No Star: When rock-star Edward Liengle is found hanging from a fire escape, Draco and Hermione must battle the media and solve the crime.


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